Hello, my name is Damian. Until last year, I had never planned a funeral. However, when both of my parents passed away within weeks of each other, I suddenly had to plan two. I was experiencing such grief that I didn't know where to start. Thankfully, my friend put me in touch with a fantastic funeral home who guided me through the entire process. They looked after the bodies, recommended a church and helped to arrange transport for guest. I decided to start this blog to help others who need to plan a funeral. I hope you find the information useful.
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Funeral arranging can involve the planning of several events in addition to the funeral service. Will there be a viewing prior to the funeral service? Will there be any sort of graveside service in the case of a burial? Will there be a luncheon following the funeral service itself? These are matters that your family must carefully consider, but there's one event which might be open to debate. Should there be a wake prior to the funeral?
A Casual Gathering
It's an overstatement to say that wakes are controversial, but some mourners might find them to be in poor taste. The format of a wake is generally far more casual than the funeral itself or any supplemental events. It's a type of celebration of life, where friends and family members can come together and remember their loved one in a relaxed atmosphere.
A Celebration of a Life
A wake isn't a party as such, but there are arguably some similarities. That being said, while a wake can be a celebration of a life, it's not generally a loud and raucous celebration. There usually isn't a formal structure for a wake, although some people might wish to say a few words about the deceased. It's a time for quiet reflection and reminiscing, often over a drink or two.
Informal and Relaxed
It's the casual nature of a wake that some mourners might find to be in poor taste. The loss of a loved one is a solemn occasion, and some might be offended for there to be any lighthearted or informal aspect to the process. Of course, remembering a loved one in an informal, relaxed setting can be a helpful part of the grieving process for many mourners.
Clarify Your Intentions
If you suspect that any family or friends will take offence at the very idea of a wake, it's important to clarify your intentions. If you decide to hold a wake, you should clearly state that the event is intended to honour your loved one, creating another forum for the bereaved to come together and share memories, albeit without the formal structure of a funeral service. If this still makes anyone uncomfortable, it's not as though attendance is mandatory.
The wake itself can be held at a private home, or even a bar or restaurant. Your chosen funeral home might also have a suitable space to host a wake, so be sure to ask the funeral director.
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